2021 in Review
PS: Long read
I look at my decision to relocate and ask myself, was this out of God’s will for me? Have I missed it? These thoughts still run through my mind once in a while, and when I consider the impact on my ministry, these last six months were worse off. But, when I think about my growth as a believer, the choices I made earlier in the year, the changes I wanted to enforce, I see some reason to be grateful for the opportunity to move to Abuja.
I’d start with my Career —
Hmm. I changed jobs in November 2020. I left a job I was passionate about after three-plus years. Anyone that knew me between 2017 and 2020 had to know I worked with Enough is Enough Nigeria. However, my idea of success and career progression began to change, and I made the hard decision to quit before getting another offer or something else to do.
I quit EiE on October 29, and on November 2, I resumed at Sahara Group, where I worked as a Programme Officer at Sahara Foundation (in hindsight, I think this was not helpful. Some time to rest would have been good). I finally got a shot at working in the private sector yet managing development projects in Nigeria and some African countries. It was an exciting turn of events, but it ended pretty short. Let me explain — I left EiE knowing I wanted to focus on healthcare, and a motivating factor to working in Sahara was the fact that they led health projects across Africa. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize they had changed focus area until a week before resumption — yet, I was excited to take on the new challenges head-on. I loved working with Pearl Uzokwe and Seyi Ojurongbe. They pushed me into unchartered terrains — I remember almost getting into fights with Agberos over a recycling hub in Ijora etc. — I was a site manager, community relations manager etc. Because, according to Pearl, I was Gen Z, I had to create nice decks and come with my A-game, which I think I did to a reasonable extent.
But, I got convinced that it was leading me further away from the goal; I couldn’t see a future in the career path I was treading and decided to quit, this time, not without knowing what next to do — my dream was finally coming to pass. I remember crying as I left Sahara on July 2nd.
I had to move to Abuja to make this happen, and it wasn’t too hard to decide. I was almost heading into a downward spiral and needed to change location. So, it was timely for me.
Thanks to Idris, I had a place to call home for a month before finally renting an apartment.
Abuja was lonely, really stressful, lonely again, stretching and all. I hardly could do more than meet up with work’s demands. I am grateful to my supervisor and colleagues who helped me through this.
I digress, I’ve been fortunate to have people guide me with my career decisions. In January 2021, I had reached out to Alex through LinkedIn, who was working in a dream firm. He was helpful in my decision to opt-in for Sydani. Adeolu, my first boss at EiE, has remained a mentor — I have a notepad for our sessions😃. Dapo, the very busy SA and I had a few, but great conversations and Temi has helped me understand this public health sector in Nigeria and the many challenges.
Communication —
I spoke very less publicly — social media in particular. I was still figuring a lot with Career, God, relationship, and I wasn’t sure I was in an excellent place to dish out advice. My views about governance were changing and, I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t need to delete things I said. I took solace in being quiet. My small circle became more diminutive; moving to Abuja worsened it.
In retrospect, I possibly wasn’t allowing myself to be human, correct myself, fail, in the full glare of the public — because I had a lot of those moments privately. I think I’m growing to like it. But, it’s very dicey. To folks in Abuja, I am that cool guy who hangs out once in a while to chill with colleagues. I am many other things to those who know me a bit more, including a minister of the gospel, which I didn’t do well with this year for many reasons. Sometimes, it feels like a double life, even if it wasn’t intended as such.
While writing this, I also realized that the fear of saying only the right things also affected my ability to air my opinion during meetings or discussions. Darn, I second-guessed myself for way too long. This act should end.
Ministry —
I am a minister of the gospel - no doubt. I live to make Jesus known. But you see, when you act in surprising ways as I did, it’s easy to slip into condemnation, despite knowing God’s forgiveness in Christ. On getting to Abuja, I wanted to put a pause on activities. I realized I wasn’t growing as I thought. I failed in the basics, and I needed to hit a reset. It was glaring to those around me. I wasn’t involved as required, participated as much, preached a few times. It was hard — I needed to grow! Lagos, SCC was a shield; now it was apparent. I didn’t want to build with activities and not have enough solid personal devotion. I was scared that things I don’t handle well now might get all I’ve made or was building come crashing if I didn’t take care. I had seen ministers put in the public glare; I hated the thought that I could make huge mistakes later in life or something I failed to work on came running after me. It was dreadful. I swore to use this opportunity to rebuild. It didn’t go exactly as planned. I still made mistakes, but it was pretty revealing.
I realize I can’t grow alone. I recognize the need for the right company and meetings more than ever. But, I realize these shouldn’t also take the place of my devotion. There’s work to be done here.
Relationships —
I have been fortunate to be surrounded by a rock-solid company over the years. I am grateful for these relationships.
I am grateful for Pastor Onayinka, God’s voice of reason and purpose to me. I want to thank Pastor Tolani, who wouldn’t let me go astray and Pastor Jide, who in a short while has had to deal with this leader who all of a sudden isn’t even “working”. My parents are super supportive and helpful. I am blessed!
Dayo (aka tech bro) and Doyin — I couldn’t have asked for better siblings.
Anu, Sam, Omoniyi, et al. — thank you!!
I am grateful to Mayowa Akinsete. This girl has been consistent and helpful, no caps. I owe her.
I am grateful to friends that I can be open with. I remember crying on a call with one of such months ago.
I’m very slow in making friends, but I made a few this year. Lol. You folks rock.
I met terrific colleagues at Sydani, young and intelligent folks who sometimes make me wonder what exactly I was doing when I was 22!!
The man, Dapo —
I have cried this year more than years before. I have washed my hands more than I must have since I was born. Lol. With all the trips around Nigeria, it was only right that I had my fair share of COVID-19. I am grateful I was quite asymptomatic throughout. I look forward to a negative result soon. It again made me realize the need to strengthen our health systems.
Money —
I have a lot to learn on this end. I don’t have savings, and it’s terrible. I need to know to make money some other way. I need to read books and act on them. 2021 squeezed me dry. Loool. Had this discussion with Gracey and it looks like I have for myself a financial mentor in 2022! E for Energy. Lol
Outlook for 2022
1. Grow
2. Really grow, exercise consistently too
3. Breathe, rest
4. This God thing, get it going!
5. Work-life balance must happen! Mi o shey “work-life integration” Loool
6. Relationship — hmm,
7. Money — diversify. Learn new things and gbera
8. Write more; read a lot more
9. Take a little break off being ‘selfish’. Help others next year. Be there a lot more for friends and others. My imperfection shouldn’t enslave me
10. Flee, run, I’m not strong enough.
Thank you for reading through. Thought hard about posting or not, but yeah…
I hope to write every quarter to review the journey. Hopefully I stick to the plan.
Have an amazing 2022! May it be all you want of it and more.
